Parmenter: I did something tonight that I have NEVER done as a Mother or Aunt...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I did something tonight that I have NEVER done as a Mother or Aunt...

For 5 years, I have nursed and rocked and "lullabied" my kids to sleep. EVERY NIGHT. I have loved a lot of those nights, I feel like we have a special bond in our family...but bedtime has started to become quite demanding around here and we have reached a point....
I've got my kids telling me that they are hungry or thirsty numerous times EVERY NIGHT while they are in bed. They demand "off the top of your head" custom bedtime stories from Scott EVERY NIGHT. (believe me, they are that good) They require us, by their side, until they are so deeply into sleep that we hardly make it out of there before falling asleep ourselves, or just end up waking up in the middle of the night, squished in their bed EVERY NIGHT. Paisley is so deeply attached that she literally has to have nose, touching some part of my body, smelling me, EVERY NIGHT. That all came to an end TONIGHT.

We have tried a few different ways to get them to go to sleep by themselves since we moved to NYC...but NOTHING has worked. We live in a small apartment, the girls share the only bedroom, so it is hard to make them both go to sleep at the same time, alone. I felt horrible doing this before b/c we owned a townhouse building where we shared walls and then we lived with Scott's parents (no grandparent should have to go through this) but now that we live in a building where, our kids are the least amount of the noise and destruction, I decided this was the place. (Ella has always been tough. Paisley went to sleep by herself until we moved and she didn't have her "yellow crib" anymore

It took 10 minutes for both of my children to go from the above demands to this (and other remarks I will not include).... "Open the door! You locked us in! I'm alone." Screaming and crying and planning to kick the door open, running and busting at the door! "You're mean. I'm sorry, I want to apologize. I just have to tell you something. I just want daddy to hold my hand. (he broke down at that point and tried to go in there. I said no.) I told them to lay in their bed and I would open the door. They lay down, I opened the door and voile`, they were asleep in 5 minutes. (I sat ever so patiently on top of 2 huge Tupperware against the door and just repeated how much we loved them and how if they went to bed by themselves, I'd make them pancakes in the morning. It's a lot easier to be patient when they're on the other side of the door, I have found.)
I know I sound pathetic. I have always been anti-Baby-Wise (You know, that silly book?) I'm a bit of a hippy-ish mom...pretty easygoing, go off of intuition, no strict schedules, family bed, nurse 'em till they're 3...but seriously, 5 YEARS has taken a toll on us!!

Who knows what tomorrow brings. But I actually feel in control tonight, as my beautiful babies sleep and I am quite excited about seeing them in AM...hopefully in the later AM, that is.

2 comments:

faith said...: i just want to say good for you, julianne! :) i actually liked part of babywise, but it's definitely too regimental for me. i have often let my kids cry themselves to sleep, though. i hope you enjoy your new-found freedom. live it up!; March 27, 2009 1:48 PM
Allred Family said...: Good for you.....it's hard, but worth it!!!!!! You will be a better momma for it!!!! I have always been strict about bedtime (as you know) and i LOVE how easy bedtime has become, kids that stay in their beds all night....with few interruptions.....Caleb still asks for drinks all the time. Hope you enjoy your freedom, and your sleeping babies :); March 27, 2009 4:07 PM

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Ella and Paisley's experiences out on (and under) the streets.

8/25/13- Several months ago and I can't forget it! "Mommy, do you think I should be a story writer when I grow up...you know...with all my little 'lie stories'?" I love alone time with Paisley!

1/20/11- When I'm in a hurry to get a parking during street cleaning and after grocery shopping...I'll carry my groceries home and leave all the heavy drinks in the car for Scott to carry up on one of his days off...So today, he walked to the car, while we came upstairs to our apartment so I could unlock the door for him through our apt. window, with our remote...I had Paisley unlock it for him. Then she sat in the window for another few minutes setting off the alarm when people walked by our car..."I'm gonna freak people out when they walk by our car!" LOL! That little mean girl! :)

7/12/11- We are in Las Vegas! While enjoying our froyo at Yogurtland tonight, Paisley stares out the window and says, "Mom, I think we should leave before we get a ticket. We're only in a 15 minute parking spot." WHAT? LOL?! I had completely forgot. Thank heavens that little one is watching out for us. ;) New York City parking rules are in high effect...Pais knows it's serious business!!

6/23/11- So we like to ride the bus. Especially the "Broadway bus." (You'll have to ask Paisley to sing you the song she made up about it.) But sometimes, when the bus is packed, and you're trying to squeeze through people to get off, the back doors close and lock before you get the chance to get out. So whoever needs to get off, yells, "BACK DOOR!!" So that the bus driver doesn't drive off, with you still in. Well, Paisley has gotten quite used to this little scenerio that often happens, but the past few weeks, every time we go to get off, even if we're the first ones off she says in the this I own this place, attitude voice, "BACK DOOR!!", which everyone laughs at and thinks is a-dorable, but we've since had to do some explaining of when you say that. LOL!

3-17-11- Paisley and her friend Ava were talking while walking to our place for a playdate. Ava mentioned that she went to visit her daddy at work and then went to the Disney store after because it was pretty close to his work. Then Paisely said, "Did you go to the one in Times Square? We went to the Disney store that's in Times Square." Ava knew exactly what she was talking about. "Yea!" These little girls know where Times Square is! :)

11-21-10- When Ella sleeps on the top bunk, I've noticed her in the morning, with the window blinds up, staring out the window that faces 88th street. A few weeks ago, while Jason was in town, we heard early in the morning, while we were still sleeping..."Daddy, Daddy, there's a car moving! Go get that spot!! :)" Scott put his shoes on, ran down stairs half asleep and moved our car right into the spot! Thanks to Ella, we didn't have to move our car for a few days! :)

6/16/10- Whenever I need a pick me up, I go downstairs to our car. Get in, turn on the radio and put my make-up on. There is something about it that can calm me and energize me at the same time. Except when I am constantly having to wave at people to let the know, "I"M NOT LEAVING, go find your own parking! :)

6-1-10- Julianne loves it when she's putting laundry away and glances out the window and notices an almost vacant Friday parking and she runs down 3 flights of stairs, while putting on something more appropriate and flags the guy to save the parking spot for her. And she then moves from her Thursday spot to her Friday spot...right in front of her building! I have accomplished something big today, people.

1/25/10- While reading scriptures tonight, Ella was very anxious to end and look at the maps in the scriptures..."Show me where Jesus was born..."says Ella. And then Paisley pops her head up and says in her sweet tired baby voice, "Wheahs Heaven? Wheas Heaven? (Where's) Scott had also asked Ella if she knew what a servant was..." Ummm..yea, let me think (with a most thoughtful look with eyes to the side)...oh yea, when they do whatever you want!"

10/9/09- While walking home from Paisley's class...Paisley: "When I grow up, I wanna be a Kid Cab Drivah. In a yellow cab."

9/20/09- Our girls know that a performance is that good when they see me crying during it. This past week, Paisley has been wowing me with her ballet moves and pretty voice. She comes up to me and touches my cheeks..."Are you crying?" After I picked her up from school one day last week, she told me, "Mommy, I sang for Ms. Santiago today, she loved it...but she didn't cry." These children have got a way too emotional mother!

7/3/09 This is so inappropriate and sad, but I have to remember it. We went to Central Park today to row a canoe in the lake. It will be one of my favorite memories here. On our way home however, walking through the park, we noticed a person sprawled out on a park bench in a purple sarong sleeping.(sp?) We walked past and Scott and I smile at eachother, hoping our children didn't notice. Paisley says promptly and quietly, "Mommy, I just saw a booty. I fink it was a boy, but he was wearing a dress."

5/10/09 Paisley woke me up this Mother's Day morning, singing, "Today it's Mother's Day, and I sing to let you know that it's Mother's day we made cinnamon rolls with frosting..." She brought in her roll on a paper plate and shared it with me! It was the sweetest little singing voice I have EVER heard to the tune of a song from "Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princess" Love that sweetie.

3-20-09 While Scott was stopped on the side of a road in New Jersey, figuring out how to get back on track with our little, white GPS, Paisley says, "Daddy, I know where Costco is, give me that little white "fing" and I will find it on there. Come on, give it to me!" I gave her my phone instead to keep her satisfied. Scott said to himself, "Yea, we need to get back on the 4 highway." Paisley- "Oh, I know where the 4 is, here you go, that's how you get to Costco." She types in the number 4 and shows us the phone screen!

3-17-9 What Ella Learns from School..."Sometimes, people kill animals, and turn their fur into paintbrushes! But, it's okay sometimes, because we eat the animal too and use a lot of their pieces." Oh, the sound of her voice is just so precious. This topic is actually very relevant in their everyday lives and deserves some explaining...like why the protesters are outside of Bloomingdales holding up scary posters.

3-16-09 After our first week in our new ward Paisley said, "Mom, I didn't cry in my Sumbeam class, but I worried about you. I was hoping that you weren't sad either and missing me."

2-20-09 Here's an experience on the water! We took the Ferry Taxi to IKEA today...Paisley is officially tall enough to play in SMALAND! Anyways, on the way there, Pais met a woman who happened to be with her younger sister. They had a sweet little disscussion about sisters..."...I was the older sister like Ella and you are the younger sister like my sister, right here...You know sometimes, the younger sister turns out to be the bossy one..." :) It was cute. The whole way home I thought about my hope that my little gals will be that close when I am long gone...they had to have almost been between 65-70 years old.

2-20-09 I took the girls to McDonald's on our way home from our last INNWOOD primary activity on 2-17. Ella had gotten a fever the night before, but I had to be at the activity, so we stopped by Mickey D's for some "make Ella feel better food." Anyways, a boy came and sat by Ella that looked 14 but probably had the mental capacity of a 5 year old. He asked for a high 5 from Ella. She gave me a strange look and I thought "Nooooo, not my sweet non-judgmental child that accepts EVERYBODY...she's reached the dark side!" It broke my heart that she wouldn't give him a high 5. So after talking with him and Paisley telling him her life story and giving him a band-aid for his ouchie, it was time for him to sit by his family...Paisley said "Wait, Ella didn't give him a high 5...." and Ella whines and almost cries..."I wanted to give him a high 5 but I didn't want him to catch my germs, b/c I'm sick." My heart melts...okay maybe we've still got a little more time until she reaches the dark side. Love those girls.

Here...you don't get what you pay for and you get what you don't pay for! -Jube

12-16-08: Well, my last request before our trip out to Las Vegas for the Holidays was granted yesterday when it finally snowed in NYC! It was magical. In the early afternoon, when Paisley and I were strolling down to our favorite soup kitchen :) to meet Scott it started snowing again...and it was one of the coolest little moments... the upper westside is kind of known for too many moms with strollers. (which is fine for our situation!) Anyway, it starts snowing and EVERYONE has a huge smile on their faces! The children in strollers are sticking out their tongues and lifting their hands and legs in the air laughing. What was SO cute is that the adults were laughing and cooing all over the other children's reactions, as we all passed eachother....so I am staring at this lady's sweet little boy with this huge grin and hands in the air, while another man is pointing out at Paisley and saying, "Look at that beautiful face!" The parents couldn't see their own kids reactions b/c they were strolling them, it was so fun for everyone to be so EXCITED for snow.

Last Monday, Paisley found a letter on a bus ride home...we don't usally do this, but had time to kill. It hadn't been opened and I assumed it was junk mail, well Paisley helped herself to the destruction of the envelope and it was a business letter that had like 12 life Insurance policy numbers and the names of who it belonged to. Might be important, so I mailed it back to New York Life and Paisley got a thank you letter in the mail today from the owner of the letter saying, "thank you for sending me my letter and thank your daughter for finding it on the bus." It was so sweet.

9-20-08: We went to a birthday party on Saturday and before getting on the train to our ward's chili cook-off, I noticed that I forgot my purse. So Scott and Ella went home with the double stroller to get the chili and Paisley and I walked back to get my purse at the party! As Paisley and I got down the steps, back onto the subway after getting my purse, a man started talking to me about how "beautiful" Paisley was and how blessed I was, this is true...this is also usually what happens when someone is going to ask for money. So, I am looking around for my train card, can't find it. Scott has it. So I go to buy a new one, machines are down. The man says, come here I'll let you through, I have a card. So I desperately go through, telling the man I have no cash and that I was sorry I couldn't repay him....THE NEXT DAY...."Do you have a train card?", I ask Scott. "Yea, but I gave one to a homeless guy at the subaway b/c he helped me through the gate with the double stroller and I didn't have any cash...there was only four dollars left on it," says Scott! Yea, it was the same man. I felt better about leaving him in a rut, I pretty much payed for my own fare and there was still two dollars left on the card as a thank you and for being the go-between for Scott and I! It is unbeivable how often people come into contact with other people that you know....and you don't even know it. Small World. This is one of the reasons I love this city, people have the opportunity to serve others almost every minute of the day.

We've got a good 5 block walk to get to the Subway from our apartment (make that six when you add the 5 flights of stairs), so after 3 months of walking and carrying and strolling, Paisley got a genius idea..."Mommy, let's not get on the train. Let's get in a taxi!" Of Course! One can see how a taxi is cleaner, no carrying the stroller, less of a hassle, no hiking down stairs and elevators and standing when there isn't a seat...even a 2 year old can feel the stresses of making it to a subway and the ordeals once we get on! Mommy still loves the subway though, it's so fast, the only way to travel around here...alright, if we had the cash I would go for the Taxi ;)

At a very young age, Paisley started repeating phrases that we say... so one of these phrases is, "Hit the bricks!" More than a year later after learning this phrase she says to me..."Mom we don't hit people, right? We only hit bricks."

We were on the bus tonight with some Sister Missionaries and Ella just started talking all about the Bronx Zoo. They asked her what her favorite animal was and she replies with no pauses..."Snakes. Rattlesnakes. They have a rattle on their tail that goes...(shakes her fists). When people come close they get scared and bite. They eat rats." If any of you see Ella, you'll have to ask her the difference between mammals and reptiles...they are her favorite facts to inform people about.

Ella- An older Dominican man sat waiting for the subway, tapping a beat with the tip of his umbrella. After a moment, Ella started repeating his beat by clapping her hands...he smiles and continues, waiting for her every clap. Precious.

Paisley- Scott and the girls were on the subway, where Paisley noticed some trash. Being the little police officer that she is, she asks, "Daddy is that your trash?" "No", he replies. "Well who's is it? Is it her trash?", pointing to a women. "I don't know, why don't you ask her?" says Scott. "Is this your trash?" Paisley asks the women. "No, it's not mine." She says laughing.

Ella- While on the subway, a very obviously angry man was boasting about something very suspicious and illegal....do you have a picture of what I am describing? A thug. Well anyways, Ella was not impressed, she staired at him with a scowl probably thinking, "What is wrong with you?" He looks at her and I get very nervous like, "Ella's gonna get us killed." He straightened up after seeing her face. That's our Ella, changing New York City one day at a time.

Ella- There is a nice homeless man that is very consistant at our subway station. "Where is the man in the subway tonight, Daddy? Does he have food and a bed now?" Oh the innocence, never let it depart from her!

Ella- While sitting in Wendy's, eating dinner, Ella thinks it is duty to knock on the glass window, smile and wave at pedestrians walking down Broadway. None of the children respond...adults loved it! There she goes again changing the world one smile at a time.

Paisley- Paisley is really noticing the cultural differences here in New York. I can't expect her to be completely appropriate in public, she is 2 years old. She has been asking very complicated questions like, "Where is that little girl's mommy?" And saying things like "That isn't their mommy, that's their Grandma." DOH! :0 It is amazing to me that she notices these things and I love that she is learning so early on about how we are different, but all the same!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I did something tonight that I have NEVER done as a Mother or Aunt...

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Ella and Paisley's experiences out on (and under) the streets.

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